Online dating

I have limited knowledge of online dating.  Well I say this as though I haven't given it enough time, but only 2 weeks in, I'd deleted my profiles and told my best friend to do the same.  I hate it.  I've never been conditioned to be shallow before.  I'm an unusual creature in that I'm a woman who is actually deterred by muscular, chiselled jawed males with tans and flawless boyish skin.  I'd rather bide my time and find out that the person I'm 'dating' has something more to them than a photogenic smile for my selfies.

So what happened?

Basic psychology is what happened.

There's thousands of profiles to look through.  Most of which have photos.  So I found myself skipping the profiles with photos - who knows what delights I was missing there, then I got chatting to a couple of guys.  When I say a couple, I mean literally 2.  How on earth anyone can talk to more than 2 people at once and remember anything solid about each one is beyond me.  So anyway, when I realised they weren't for me, I started looking though more photos and before I knew it, I was flipping through photos just because I'd already chatted to guys who looked hotter.  Me?  Doing that?  Horrific.  I certainly don't want to be 'that' girl.  So I deleted my profules as soon as I realised what was going on.  Once I'd realised why online dating even existed and why it was such a lucrative business.

I like my relationships in the real world.  Real friends and a real lover.  That's what I enjoy.  Knowing that I've not met some shallow creep online who was probably looking through hundreds of other women's photos with the same mindset as the one I was developing.

Love, or the notion of being in love is a pretty powerful thing.  I think it's pretty clear cut.  Most people either want to be single and play the field or find their soul mate and settle down.  To me, online dating sites have always strived to break down this clear cut desire for people to make everyone want to play the field, or just to simply believe that there is always a better person out there for them.  It's not dissimilar to online shopping, when you've been shopping around for something at the right price, it's not uncommon to worry that you could have found better and cheaper elsewhere.

I read an article a couple of months ago and jumped up and down screaming at my computer screen that I worked that out ages ago.  There are plenty of them around.  Like this one from Aljazeera detailing OKCupid's experimentation methods.

If I had ever been completely serious about this online dating business and had read this article without having worked out the reality sooner, I'd have been pretty annoyed when the penny dropped that I had been being used as a research experiment and that my heart and future had been used like that.  I've tried explaining to people before my feelings on this matter.  Online dating is no different in my eyes than charitable work.  It's all big business, created to line someone's pocket, preying on the vulnerable or the naive.

If you're looking for love, why not get a hobby and join a club.  Make new friends, and stop allowing your dreams of a perfect relationship spoil your life.  Sitting in front of a computer screen clicking through profiles is no way to meet people and certainly doesn't sound much like fun.  Go on, get out and enjoy yourself.  You never know who you'll bump into!